It's been a while.

I'm in my third year, last rotation, last 8 weeks (now 4 weeks), and I think I'm a bit burned out. Not many stories to tell, either, at least not medical ones.

I'm on my family practice rotation, which is actually very enjoyable. My attending is the old school type of family doctor, who basically does everything and anything. Vasectomy one minute, pap smear the next, broken leg, diabetes meds, stitches, mole removal, you get the point. I feel like I've learned a little bit about everything in the last month and have finally gained some of that practical medical knowledgeb that makes it seem like I know something when my family members ask me a question. Before family practice, I could pretty much deliver a baby, stabilize a heart failure patient, due a primary survey of a trauma patient (and maybe even stick in a chest tube), do a newborn exam, but when a family member asked me about a sore throat or a shoulder ache, I had no idea where my 3 years of education had gone. Now, I'm starting to feel like that bit of that everyday useful knowledge is starting to seep in.

Lately, I've been realizing how long three years can be. Friends have gotten married, had kids, moved to other countries; and others have passed away. I've been studying medicine and have probably been moulded and altered by this process far more than I can tell. I've been in Sacramento, close enough to home to visit my parents, but not close enough to stay in touch with the other people who matter to me. I've made good friends here, of course, but I'm frustrated by how the process of living here, Seattle and in the Bay Area, has left me feeling fragmented. My friends and family tend to be my foundation, and I don't like it to feel this scattered. I'm ready to be back in the Bay Area and start having a more permanent home.

Of course, I actually have to get a residency there. And find the lost energy and motivation to make it through my last year of med school. I'm sure it's premature to be already looking so far ahead but it's getting pretty hard not to.