third rotation burnout

It's the middle of our third rotation. Almost half-way through the third year. It is hard to explain what that means. This year has been extrememly intense. Everyday, we're driven by our high expectations, exhausted by the physical and psychological demands, and haunted by constant nagging thoughts about our futures. Am I good enough? Should I be doing something to be better? Will I want to do this for the rest of my life? What will this force my life to be like? How long can I go on this little sleep. Am I insane? Why can't I be like him or her? Do I really care or am I just pretending? Do I feel empty because I'm tired or because I've lost so much of who I am? Do I feel anything? What if I stop loving this suddenly and turn into one of them?

My friend and classmate Bender recently posted a blog entry that pretty well reflects some of the lows many of us have hit recently. I thought it was worth reading, especially for any pre-med students out there who haven't thought long and hard before embarking on this journey. There are far easier things one can do with one's life.

I'm actually feeling better these days. My sister gave me a good pep talk a few days ago, and it seems to have worked. The days are still long, and the mornings more and more painful. I see things everyday that they make oscar winning movies about, and I struggle with how they do and don't affect me. But in general, I am really doing a bit better at taking everything day by day, and trying to remind myself how unique and extraordinary this experience is.