thoughts

surgery has been great. the days pass by very quickly. i'm having trouble getting there early enough (around 5:30) to round on my patients and have notes ready before we round with the team at 7. but once that is over, the day is usually exciting. i've been trying to get in on as many surgeries as possible while still getting done with some of the myriad objectives that we have to do for the rotations. yesterday, i saw four surgeries (including a lower leg amputation - fun to say, but not as interesting as it sounds), and scrubed in on two. since we're medical students, we don't get to do much when we scrub in (basically, they don't let us near anything we could screw up), so we're usually retracting, or cutting suture ties or stapling the patient shut. but most of the surgeons engage us and stop once in a while to give us a good look. somehow, it's still interesting. and since i'm new, everyday i get to do something for the first time. yesterday, a nurse showed me how to put in a foley (remarkably hard when the pt is a 300 lb woman) and one of the residents let me suture a patient up at the end of the surgery. it was a lot harder to do with gloves on. i think i might go buy some eggplants to practice on.

over these past few weeks, i've realized just how EARLY in my education i am. i've been happily telling myself that i'm an MS3, half-way through medical school...half-way there. now, it has become crystal clear that i am just beginning. i might have an MD by the middle of 2008, but only people outside of the medical community would think to call me "doctor". medical school is considered "undergraduate" education in the medical field, and only now do i recognize that. my residents and interns get only a bit more respect than i do, but are expected to work much harder. and some of them, like my chief, graduated from medical school before i even started it. so as i flirt with the idea of career in surgery (and therefore a minimum of 5 years of residency), i am overwhelmed at what that means. five years will fly by very quickly, especially if i do what i am passionate about, and given that i know so little right now, i am happy that it will be a while before i am ever really the one making a call about someone's life. but it is a long time and --just like the large amount of debt that i will be facing when i finish medical school-- it is something i'm realizing i just can't think about.