In need of major realignment

I have had one of the most mentally spastic weeks of my life. It seems that the more I fall behind in school, the more I am unable to deal with the prospect of reading more than one paragraph an hour Especially this weekend, my head has been everywhere, except where it needs to be: catching up on three weeks of pharmacology, oncology, pathology, epidemiology, dermatology and microbiology. I realize that part of it is the suffocatingly hot weather and part of it is just the fact that it's summer and I just finished a good summer break, but that's not all. Taking some time off and getting back in touch with close friends has reminded me how life, if you chose to live it, can be pretty damn nice. There are people to meet and a life to build and things to experience, and if you know how to get yourself out of the house and at least have a sense of where you want to go, you could really have an amazing time. Which makes being married to medical school pretty frustrating, scary and lonely sometimes. My life has turned into an antithesis of "carpe diem", and in my resistance to it, I have made it far worst. I know that if I just got my shit together and studied well, I would be able to find time to go out and listen to good music, meet interesting people and pretend I'm not in med school for a few hours a week. ARG! At some point I'm going to learn, right?